Going out again socially after a marriage breakup is a big step. You’ve not just divided your assets in the divorce but maybe also your club memberships and some of your friends. Instead of sitting at home nursing low self-esteem, accept feelings like loneliness, anxiety and fear as part of the healing process and start looking for way to reach out to people.
- Connect with family and old friends – Let them know you want and need them in your life and give them a chance to help. If you have moved, drop them a note or an email letting them know where to reach you. Let them know that divorce changes many things but not friendship and that you value theirs. Friends who have been through a divorce are particularly good in giving you a shoulder to cry on or encouragement in successfully navigating the transition.
- Join a group – Feel like the odd duck out in your old social clubs and organizations? Need a reminder that you’re not alone? Almost every community has divorce support groups sponsored by national organizations, religious groups or community centers. You can find directories online at www.smartdivorce.com. Parents Without Partners has a directory of chapters in the US and Canada and tips on coping, grieving, communicating with children and social considerations. To find local groups, check with women’s studies centers at nearby colleges, singles and divorced groups, women’s and men’s organizations such as the local Y, therapy groups sponsored by individual therapist and clergy. Divorce Magazine offers an online list of divorce support groups, searchable by state. Also consider special interest groups – social dancing clubs, mushroom societies, book circles – which would give you a chance to polish up your social skills, meet new friends AND learn something that will enrich your life.
- Dating After Divorce – It’s up to you when you decide to date. Experts encourage you to take it slow. Enjoy your first relationship but don’t expect it to lead to marriage. View dating as part of the healing process and as a way to make more friends rather than find Prince Charming. You can meet people in classes, in clubs, on the Internet. Your dating skills may be rusting, but concentrate on paying attention to the other person and beware of too much venting about your former mate or marriage. Talk about neutral things like work or sports.
More Dating tips http://www.divorceinfo.com/dating.htm