Achieving Equality Before Marrying
Where We Stand:
Strong marriages are built on an equal partnership and the first step in that direction is taken before you ever walk down the aisle. While preparing for marriage, you need to discuss how each of you feels about important things like religion, parenting, taking care of aged relatives, where you will live, who will earn the money, how it will be spent, and if one of you will be a full-time parent. Talking about such important matters now will help you understand each other better and encourage open communication from the start.
Marriage and equality go hand and hand when building a mutually beneficial future.
Remember, marriage is the biggest social contract you will ever make. It should be accompanied by a legal contract to make sure that your marriage will be a 50-50 partnership. Even if you think you don’t have assets today, it’s likely you will down the road.
A premarital agreement or contract, often called a prenuptial, helps establish equality in your marriage from the start as well as protecting each of you when the marriage ends – in death or divorce. Without a written agreement, state laws may dictate what happens to your assets and debts.
What better time to chart the future of your marital partnership than when your love is strong? Suze Orman, author of The Courage to Be Rich,agrees with us: “It’s not a sign of greed, weakness or fear to want the reassurance that you both will be safe, whatever happens, and, in my experience, opening up these issues can bring partners closer together in ways they rarely comprehend until they do it.”
Essential Things To Do:
- Schedule time together to talk about how you feel about money.
- Work together to write a marriage agreement.
- Start laying the groundwork for ongoing communication about your partnership.
- All three of these actions noted above can be facilitated by using The Commitment Conversation; our guidebook to assisting individuals and couples in initiating and discussing the important elements of their partnership.