Do You Share Spiritual Values?
Deep within each of us are rooted our spiritual values, but they surface in the most amazing places. You and your perspective spouse will explore some of them as you are planning for marriage simply by deciding what kind of marriage ceremony you will have. Whether you have a religious marriage or not, you will spend time discussing where you will exchange your vows. You can increase the equality in the marriage you are establishing by also discussing other spiritual questions.
In The Hard Questions Susan Piver points out that while many of us may think religion is for when someone is born, marries or dies, those are the very times when we may find religion vitally important. To start a dialogue about your spiritual values, you might go beyond your decisions for the wedding ceremony and consider what you would do to make other passages in life. This is particularly important if you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds.
Use your discussion of where you will be married as a springboard to these essential questions, adapted from The Hard Questions.
- Do we share a religion and would our relationship benefit if we affiliated with a religious institution?
- Do we share a spiritual practice such as meditation or yoga and if we don’t, should we add such a practice?
- Does only one of us have an individual practice and does the other understand and respect that choice?
- What does each of us want in terms of the other’s support and or participation in a spiritual practice?
- How will we mark births and deaths within our new family?
- What place will beliefs play in our home and home life?
- Do we observe any spiritual rituals or holidays together or separately?
- When death comes to either of us, what arrangements do we want made?