The Toronto Sun
January 28, 2001

HELPING EASE MARITAL SPLIT
BY LINDA A. FOX

All good things must come to an end, even that marriage supposedly made in heaven.

Divorce is a fact of life in modern society and knowing how to protect yourself financially, as well as emotionally, when the time comes, is crucial.

The best advice is to start building your new life immediately, according to the Equality in Marriage Institute (IEM). Approach divorce as you would a new job. First, get your papers in order. Here are a few tips from the IEM:

- Copy important papers such as tax returns, shared business interests, insurance policies and bank statements and keep them in a safe place.

- Keep a record of personal property records such as mortages, deeds, titles and records of debt.

- File personal papers, such as the original marriage certificate, divorce papers and all legal actions ensuing.

- Make sure you know what you have. Take an inventory of your valuable possessions, such as jewelry or art or collections of stamps and coins.

The IEM suggests you start keeping track of expenses. Record in detail what goes out and what is coming in. Even the tiniest thing, such as lunches at work.

Take a look at the IEM's new Web site at www.equalityinmarriage.org for more ideas on how to cope with your new status. Although U.S.-based, it also has helpful hints for Canadians.

The site will lead you to sections headed Taking Care of Business, Taking Care of Self, How Friends and Family Can Help, What About Your Children and Alimony.

Organization founder Lorna Wendt says through her own divorce she learned firsthand that "marriage is not always an equal partnership -- and that is something most people don't realize when they are making a commitment."

No matter how little or how much you have accumulated as a couple, says Wendt, there will be assets to split.

Wendt cites her own case. After 32 years of marriage, her wealthy husband demanded a divorce and offered only 10% of the marital assets.

That sent her on a quest to seek equality with a 50/50 split and then moved her to organize the institute and now the Web site to help others.

But here's one statistic to keep in mind, no matter how bad you think married life is: A study published by the American Journal Of Public Health reported that divorced people are three times as likely to commit suicide than married individuals.

Sometimes, you just can't win!