The Second Time Around
Where We Stand:
A divorce forces us to re-examine our relationships, not just with former spouses but with other family members and new people who enter our lives. It also forces us to re-examine ourselves. Whether or not you choose to enter into another love relationship, make that decision after you have learned to love yourself and understand your strengths and weaknesses. Many of those who are marrying again end up in divorce because one or both partners were on the rebound from a previous relationship. Any relationship has a better chance of survival if you enter feeling strong in all areas of your life.
Take your time in establishing a relationship. Fully explore how the new person in your life feels about a 50-50 partnership in marriage before you decide to wed again. It’s even more important when remarrying.
Essential Things To Do:
- Profit from past mistakes by acknowledging them.
- Don’t seek out a carbon copy of your former spouse – or an exact opposite.
- Evaluate each person who enters your life as an individual.
- Take steps to establish equality in your new relationship.
- Use legal contracts to formalize equality in long-term relationships.
- Consider courses and retreats to prepare the two of you for a lasting relationship.
- Avoid extreme changes in your lifestyle.
- Strengthen ties with friends and family as you move in new directions.
- Make sure you and your new love share the same commitment to equality in marriage.
- Use our “Commitment Conversation” Guide to help you and your partner navigate through the most important commitment of your lives.