- Get Out of Bed! Don't just lie around and dedicate all your time to feelings of regret or rejection. Get out and do things that you enjoy. Also, try and take time each day to make yourself look good - you'll feel better when you are well groomed and looking your best.
- Switch Things Up! Make changes in your daily routine or lifestyle. Trying a new restaurant, shopping in different stores and attending new events are all ways to begin building a new life and avoiding some of the pain that can accompany visiting places that were so closely associated with your marriage.
- Redecorate! Chances are that you have lots of material things that are deeply attached to your marriage whether it be pictures, knick-knacks or souvenirs from your life together. Temporarily stash these things away to give yourself the space you need to heal and begin building your new life. You can replace them with items that inspire you or represent positive thoughts about your opportunity for a fresh start.
- Be Honest! Denying to yourself or others the reality of divorce will only hinder your healing process. Use a journal to record your most honest thoughts and feelings about the divorce. Talking to friends and family about the divorce will also help reiterate the reality of the split in your mind and get you to start thinking as a single person again.
- Accentuate the Positive! Many divorcees beat themselves up over the failure of their marriage and focus all their attention on their mistakes or flaws. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your character and view your mistakes as a learning experience that will better prepare you for the future.
- Schedule Your Support! Friends and family are very important during the transition of divorce. Rely on them when you are feeling overwhelmed or lonely. Also, make plans for the coming weeks with members of your support network - knowing you've got fun activities with loved ones on the calendar can give you that extra nudge to moving forward.
- Improve Yourself! Set aside time to focus on improving yourself and your skill set. Take a course at a local college. Take on a hobby that has always intrigued you. It is better to use time building yourself up than to sit around sulking and bringing yourself down.
- Give Yourself Space! If you find exchanges with your ex draining or extremely painful, then do everything in your power to limit contact with your former partner. It is sometimes necessary to cut off communication in order to process the divorce and begin healing.
- Make a Plan! It's easy to think about the your future and the things you want to accomplish - it is harder to turn this into action. Use your journal to record your hopes and dreams for the future and make a "to do" list that will help move you in your desired direction.
- Give Yourself Time! Don't get frustrated if you don't feel better as fast as you'd hoped. Divorce is a challenging time. Just remember to rely on your support network, focus on the future and take time for yourself! If you find yourself slipping deep into depression or inactivity, don't be afraid to visit a counselor or therapist to help you move forward.
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Actions When Divorcing
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