Your married life can be compared to a glass building. The building needs to be cleaned daily, just like your marriage which needs to be cherished every moment. If it’s shining, people can grow envious, and so you should not let the outsiders influence you with their marriage mantras. And almost everyone is ready to throw stones at it even if you turn your back on for a whisker of a second; therefore, you need to do everything in your might to save your marriage from unwanted and senseless distractions. Having said that, it becomes very important for you to take the right decisions not just for yourself but for your significant other as well, for your marriage to survive these rough patches.
Nurturing a marriage takes a lot and has its own set of rules that you first have to comply to. There are N numbers of things that can go wrong, while there are only a handful of those which can go right, and that too if you take the efforts correctly.
Today we’re going to discuss about the small-small decisions of yours that can go a long way in ruining your marriage and which if not handled carefully, can force you into making some really harsh and unfavourable decisions.
Not Taking The Time Out To Talk
A morning session with husband
What we’re talking here is about thoughtful, engaging and curious conversations, and not just “how was your day?” or “what are our weekend plans?” It’s not that these don’t make any difference – they indeed do, but at least once a week, you should also take some time out to talk with your partner about your relationship only.
Ask questions like, “is there anything I did today to make you feel loved?” or like, “do you think there’s something that I need to look after to make you happy?”Brokering such conversations might feel a bit awkward
at first, but in only the 2nd or 3rd conversation, you’ll start noticing the difference, when you’ll see the same eagerness on your spouse’s face.
Not Owning Up Your Share Of The Responsibility
Husband and wife doing household chores together
The point here is not volunteering for doing the chores, but the thing is to own up a part of it, even if it’s not significant. When you know that your significant other is taking all the pains to tidy up everything on herself/ himself (mostly herself in this case), not because she’s just a very tidy person who wants everything to be organized but because she thinks that it’s important, here should not arise a need for her to ask you to do certain things.
Understand this. Even if she’s not happy with the way you handle things, or at times you mess everything up in spite of being on the organizing agenda, at some point of time, she will realize that you’re at least trying, and owning up some of the work, and that she’s not alone in it.
Interpreting Things Negatively
You call your partner during lunch, and he didn’t answer; your reason – he must be having lunch with some other woman. Your boss is killing with all the extra work and you try to reach your spouse to inform her of the situation but she doesn’t answer; your reason – she must be cheating on me. This happens so often with couples and has been one of the greater causes of the ruining of a lot of marriages.
Don’t start getting suspicious at the very first instance. It might be just a one-off thing and you might simply be over thinking. Give your significant other a chance to explain himself/ herself, if this becomes a regular case. Try to listen and then put yourself in their shoes and probably then decide.
Remember, a lot of your decisions can turn out to be very deadly for your marriage. And so, it becomes all the more important to remain calm and act sanely in such situations; wherein, doing otherwise can gift you a life full of regrets.