Before tying the knots, it’s very important to have “money talks” with your to-be better half, so as to get hold of your partner’s current money situations and to convey him/ her yours. Often times, in all the excitement of marriage, the money talks take a back seat because you’re of the opinion that “We both love each other, why would finances be any problem.” We’re not saying that money is going to be a problem, but just that there’s no harm in having the talks beforehand.
Finance related questions/ issues are going to be an important part of your everyday life post marriage, so why not get comfortable with it prior to the proceedings only. At first, these might sound a bit awkward but you need to remind yourself, and your would-be better half that it is necessary, so as to avoid the petty fights in the future and unpleasant finance related surprises.
Let’s take a look at some of the ways you can initiate the talks prior to your marriage and take it smoothly thereafter.
A Little Of The Show And Somewhat Of A Tell
If you’re of the view that disclosing your financials before a stranger is not your ideal situation, keep in mind that it’s none other than your future life partner and you’re not alone doing this. Your show and tell moments could include a small talk regarding your current financial standing and expecting the same from your partner. A partner’s bad credit might not be a very good point to start your marriage at. And so, talk it out first.
Money Managing Habits
There’s a need to get acquainted with your partner’s money management habits. The reason – the very high probability of you two being poles apart in managing your finances. You might be the one who likes to keep track of all your expenses. You like to plan for the upcoming months in advance, while trying to do cost cutting on the smaller things, to rejoice on the bigger stuff, at the end of the current term.
Your partner, on the other hand, might be complete opposite in not being so careful in managing his/ her finances. Not in the habit of tracking expenses or setting expenses boundaries. This doesn’t mean that the person is financially negligent, but just that everyone has their own ways of doing it. And so, familiarise with it asap.
Drawing Some Boundaries
It’s important to have an agreement on your financial aspirations and needs. It’s important to know what sort of a person your partner is when it comes to money management. Setting boundaries include exploring each other’s perception towards both debt and saving. What if he wants to drop out to start his own venture or what if she wants to continue her education.
Talks about money will not always be just about money; respect, commitment, power, fairness, etc will keep surfacing up in every money talks of yours. Remember every personalised thing will turn into a joint venture post marriage and so it’s better if you get going with some ground rules beforehand only.
Banking On The Financial Priorities
Just because you have two streams of incomes now, doesn’t mean that you can go on a shopping spree. There’s going to be a dire need of segregation between “needs” and “wants”. And on top of that, explaining this to your partner at times can become another unwanted task. It’s obvious that you two will have different aspirations, which is where the challenge will lie. Decide and prioritize your stuff in consent with each other.
Finance talks initially are always going to be tough, because we’ve been taught our entire lives that finances are personal stuff. And they might seem very crass and unromantic too. But none of this should be an excuse to forego it, at this stage of your life.